Arsehole friends

I would like to apologise for that, and also for the time I found a cassette tape he recorded of himself singing inxs and then told his friends

I had a 'pal' who got shitty when I talked during his nap in the car but wouldn't let me chill and sleep when I wanted to. goddamn divas

shits seem to be the popular here, I know a mate who borrowed a jacket off another mate for the night and needed to shit later on but didn't have any paper so he used the jacket to wipe, gave it back, shit stained denim. I think he bought it that day too

Damn the above story is messed up (literally!). Surely there must have been something else handy?
I've spewed in more beds, cars and hallways than I will ever be able to remember. I also broke Dave's dad's watch.

My friend lent me his car to bomb around in while i was in WA once. I got hammered at the strippers and crashed it pretty bad on my way home on my last night. I just left it in his driveway and flew home without seeing him.

This one wasn't me but my friends in my street.

When I was around 6 or 7 we used to find a lot of dog shit in the park bin from considerate dog owners cleaning up after their dogs. It was fun to poke the bags of shit with sticks. However, some of my friends had behavioural problems and felt the need to carry out some sort of attack/prank on a kid they didn't like too much.

So when darkness veiled the street and the kid and his family weren't home we sprung into action. Luckily for us it was a good day and lots of shit was in the bin. At that point I was wuss and didn't participate in the prank. I watched on as the my two friends used a mason's trowel to spread the shit all over the driveway. The idea was that it would be too dark for them to see and just light enough layer for them not to feel their foot squish into it. Thus the entire family would unknowingly tread shit throughout their carpeted house.

The plan worked and we almost blew our cover as we sniggered in a nearby bush. You could hear the parents yelling at the kid for treading shit into the house but only to find out they did too. My friends felt accomplished and we all went home. The next day I got interrogated by my parents and under threat of torture confessed my friends did it. Needless to say they got fucked up by their parents. So I guess not only were they arseholes for doing a shitty rendering job but so was I for ratting them out.

^^^This is excellent! I think your friend is a fucking genius. I would love to do that to my neighbours.

Fuck potii, I just had to create an account to show my appreciation because I snorted out loud. Been lurking for years.

Glad you appreciated it. Another story...

In my group at school I hanged out with a rag-tag bunch of kids: nerds, metal kids, skaters and general bad kids. Not sure how it all came to be, but we always were doing mean shit to each other. We happened to occupy a part of the school at lunch where it backed onto a green fence, and past that fence was a small rocky hill leading to an open storm water drain. There was always stagnant green mossy water in it.

One day we accidentally broke a panel in the fence, however not so bad that we couldn't jam in back into place and it all seem good. Then the idea sprang that we could lure unsuspecting victims to the fence and push them through it and we had a perfect candidate as the victim. One of our friends who was overweight and almost barrel like in appearance.

He was always selling coke since sugary drinks were banded at school and he saw the business opportunity in selling the good stuff, which gave us perfect opportunity to call him over to our fence. So under the pretence of buying some coke we got him right were we wanted him. Square in the middle of the fence panel and then came the mighty push! It was quite spectacular, the coke cans flew out of his bag as he penetrated the fence collapsing on the crest of the small rocky hill. His weight provided enough momentum from him to continue travelling as he awkwardly rolled down the hill. After scraping over almost all the rocks going down, he finally crashed into the open storm water drain. The soft moistness of the mossy water was no consolation to his embarrassment. We all laughed and felt pretty chuffed. We were very much arseholes that day.

i always unscrew the lid on salt and pepper shakers...

bump..

All my friends are too busy to do shit with me, me being unemployed with free time 24/7.. sb com au is all I got these days.

I once tried to take on shit on this guys head after my friend lured him in to this new cubby house in the bush. After squatting from a tree branch nothing came out and the guy ran out of the cubby house laughing. This happened in like year 3 or 4. When we got to high school one of my mates retold the story to someone and the story spread like wildfire around the school. This other guy got called shitty from like year 7 to 12 by basically the whole school. Teachers would always pull me out of class and ask me about it and to try and make people stop calling them that but i had nothing to do with it. Pretty sure the guy got counselling from it....

I think these kind of stories are fairly common place, at least where I am from (Northern NSW). I can remember me or mostly my friends being the biggest cunts almost all the time...
We used to sit in this shady spot at school under a whole lot of trees, unfortunately for us and to the amusement of a rival group our trees were deciduous. For some reason it was still bloody hot but our group had no shade, our rival group was laughing at us every lunch time... My friends hatched a plan that they would come to school at night time and drill holes into the massive native tree they sat under and fill the holes with roundup, slowly killing the tree. Everyday after that our rival group laughed at us whilst we all laughed back, even though they didn't understand why for about a week. At which point all their leaves fell off and their tree was dying, they were all stupid footy heads so had no idea what was happening, unfortunately for my friends the school had worked it out though. They called all of us to the office and played hard ball... they said if we didn't own up that we couldn't get our HSC... I didn't give a fuck so I denied everything, my stupid friends owned up and had to spend the rest of their school life and some of their own money planting new trees around the school.

A couple kids where in the locker bay in year 12 and they knew this one kids combo to his locker and they showed me. After they left I stole all his text books planning to sell them at the end of the year. I didn't really like him so I thought fuck him haha. Anyway he told the teachers that his books where gone and the other dudes ratted on me saying I took them. The year level coordinator started playing hard ball saying she knew I took the books and that it was on camera, I wasn't stupid and denied everything and got off scot free. The other guy wasn't so lucky and got put in vcal because his dad wouldn't buy more books.