Matt Beck (aka Beck Minut, aka Big o-Sevs) Interview
(Warning: course language and drunken antics)Questions by Moey
BeckMinut. I feel like this is a bit of an �introducing interview�. How old are you, where are you from, and does anyone hook you up with free stuff?
Big o-Sev�s has no age, he�s just so fucken horny. His age is ten out of ten. However, big o-Sevs we don�t sleep, you don�t sleep? Correct?
Ha-ha Correct. However, I�m from Dudsville, Tennessee, However, I was born in Christchurch, New Zealand, only once, I was born horny. Big o-Sevs, horny, fuck I�m ready.
My sponnos� Ah, Whackbox distribution, Horny skateboards, Driftwood skateboards, Devout Wheels forever. I�m also on Chris Eacott Hats.
How many NZ people do you live with? And who are they?
Not enough. However, Casey �Ducky� Foley, Max �fuck in the ass� Couling, Mathew �one tee� Kinsman.. Ah� Kent! And a bunch of girls.. Females. The total is eight. When is Gabbers coming into the mix?
He�s not, sorry. How did the Christchurch earthquake affect you and your New Zealand housemates?
I was living at my father�s house and I had just joined University, and I went to University for two days, however, like, the earthquake happened. I was just like, �What the fuck is this?!� It affected me at fucken, 3:46 in the afternoon. Couling (Max) had already told me to come to Melbourne. So when it happened I was just like, �Well of course I�m coming to Melbourne now, it�s the only way, however, fuck I was horny. The first time I had ever been to Melbourne and, so I had this female called, umm lets call her Horny Johansonsen, I dunno what her name was but, I fucked her in the asshole, however she was 35 years old and she is still to this day the ugliest ever girl I have ever fucked. I left the earthquakes for the Woodster.
HAHAHA wow. So you�re working as a high-rise window washer over here now? How did you get that job?
I�m a Des�ree White Wash Windows Potato Washer. Tom Snape said I could have the job. Someone offered it to him but he�s scared of heights. However, I got a diploma in abseiling and my friend Blue hooked it up. Two days later big o-Sevs got the job.
So you abseil down buildings and wash the windows? How high do you go?
Yeah my steepest building is 47 stories high.
You texted me once while you were at work. What else do you do up there?
Did I text you that one time when that bitch was on her balcony, tits out, but not out, tits down. She had the side boob goin on. I was like, �FUCCCKKKKK, Beck o-Sevs is so horny at his job right now.� I was so ready.
HA-HA. What is Blendr?
Blender.. It�s like the best thing that�s ever happened. It�s like a texting app. You have to have an iPhone to use it and you can chat with girls close to you. You can see everyone who is 400metres from you or closer. Fuck I�m horny. So all you can see is, �Sophie Rose Sophie Rose is 433m from you.�
Is it a dating App?
It�s not a dating App, it�s a fucking App.
AHAHAHA! Had much action from it?
I�ve fucked two or three Blendr�s.
Two or Three??
I�m working on the third. The third is Sophie Rose. The first one is called Nadia, the second one is called Gracie and the third one will be called Sophie Rose.
What happened on Christmas?
Merry Christmas. So what happened on Christmas is, well it wasn�t Christmas day, it was Christmas eve. So on Christmas eve Gabbers and I were out at 4am in the morning. So yeah it was technically Christmas day. We were 50 feet from Manhattan Terrace, however three young men came up to me and Gabbers and they said,
�It�s Christmas day, I need to make a phone call to my mother, can I have your phone..�
Gabbers said, �I don�t have a phone�
and I said, �my phone has a smashed up screen.�
One of them then patted down the big Gabbers and felt his iPhone in his pocket and said,
� YOU�RE A LIAR! YOU�RE A FUCKEN LIAR!�
and he grabbed the iPhone out of his pants and just fucken punched Gabbers. Gabbers gets all the bad gems. He doesn�t know this but I got him a Christmas present. A Tony Robbins cd, he�s the man.
So I just yelled out, �GABBERS RUN!!!�
So they had Gabbers� cell phone which he had already payed out right. These three Sudanese guys ran away so I started chasing them and they just turned around and started running after me. It was three against one so I just ran in another direction. I was like, �FUCKKKK FUCKKKKKK!� Luckily I got away.
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