hahah so true
FUNNY PICS?????
Not really a picture but since your looking at your screen you can pretend it is a picture....
I guess it's kinda worth the read.
From: Jeff Peters
Date: Wednesday 8 April 2009 10.22am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Membership Renewal
Dear David
This is a friendly reminder to let you know your gym membership expired
last week. Your membership is important to us and we would like to take
this opportunity to show our appreciation by offering you a 20% discount
on your membership renewal. We look forward to seeing you again soon.
All the best, Jeff Peters
From: David Thorne
Date: Wednesday 8 April 2009 1.37pm
To: Jeff Peters
Subject: Re: Membership Renewal
Dear Jeff,
Thankyou for your friendly reminder and the kind offer to reduce my
membership by twenty percent. I own a calculator but I could not work
out how to do percentages on it so have estimated that I save around
$372.10 off the normal price of $420.00 - Please confirm that this is
correct and I will renew my membership immediately. Also, do I get a
Fitness First sports bag with towel and drinking bottle included in the
price? I own my own legwarmers and headband.
Regards, David.
From: Jeff Peters
Date: Thursday 9 April 2009 10.01am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Membership Renewal Due
Hello David
How did you come to that amount? Our half year membership fees are
actually $460 but with the 20% discount as an existing member your
renewing membership fee would be only $368 for the six months saving you
almost $100 off the normal price. We are not Fitness First so do not
have those bags.
Cheers, Jeff
From: David Thorne
Date: Thursday 9 April 2009 10.18am
To: Jeff Peters
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Membership Renewal Due
Dear Jeff
Do I get free shipping with that?
Regards, David.
From: Jeff Peters
Date: Thursday 9 April 2009 12.48pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Membership Renewal Due
Free shipping with what? The $368 covers your membership fees for six
months.
From: David Thorne
Date: Thursday 9 April 2009 2.26pm
To: Jeff Peters
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Membership Renewal Due
Dear Jeff
By the power of Greyskull that is a lot of money but I admit to being in
desperate need of increasing my body strength. My ten year old child
often turns the taps off in the bathroom very tightly and I have to go
several days without washing. I feel bad constantly having to ask the
lady from next door to come over and loosen them for me, what with her
arthritis and limited wheelchair access to my apartment. To be honest, I
originally joined your gym with full intentions of attending every few
days but after waiting in vain for someone to offer me steroids, I began
to suspect this was not going to happen and the realisation that I may
have to exercise instead was, quite frankly, horrifying. My aversion to
work, along with the fact one of your employees, Justin, was rather
rude, telling me to 'lift this', 'push that' dulled my initial
enthusiasm of becoming muscular and I stopped attending.
Regards, David.
From: Jeff Peters
Date: Friday 10 April 2009 9.17am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Membership Renewal Due
Hello David
Not sure how to take your email, nobody here would offer you steroids,
it is illegal and none of our staff would do this. Justin is one of our
most experienced trainers and if you found him rude while he was trying
to be helpful and just doing his job then there are plenty of other gyms
you could look at joining instead.
Cheers, Jeff
From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 10 April 2009 10.02am
To: Jeff Peters
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Membership Renewal Due
Dear Jeff
Yes, I have noticed that there are many gyms in my area. I assume the
low qualification requirements of fitness trainers means that there is
an over supply of these buffed but essentially otherwise purposeless
professionals. I knew a guy in high school who couldn't talk very well
and collected sticks, he used to call the teacher 'mum' and during
recess we would give him money to dance. Then sell him sticks to get our
money back. He went on to become a fitness instructor so I view gyms as
kind of like those factories that provide a community service by
employing people with down syndrome to lick stamps and pack boxes.
Except with more Spandex obviously.
Regards, David.
From: Jeff Peters
Date: Friday 10 April 2009 10.32am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Membership Renewal Due
Go f *ck yourself.
From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 10 April 2009 11.38am
To: Jeff Peters
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Membership Renewal Due
Dear Jeff
I was, at first, quite surprised at your response; one minute you are
inviting me to renew my membership and asking me for money, the next
insulting me. After doing a little research however, I have learnt that
mood swings are an expected side effect of steroid abuse. As another
side effect is a reduction in the size of your p#$%, this gives you
understandable cause to be an angry person. I have also learnt that
Spandex contains carcinogenic properties so this does not bode well for
yourself and your shiny friends. If I woke up one morning and my p#$%
was a quarter of the size I would probably take my anger out on those
around me as well. There are probably support groups or websites that
could help you manage your problem more effectively and picture based
books available on the subject for people with limited reading skills.
When I am angry I like to Listen to music by Linkin Park. The added
angst and desire to cut myself works similarly to the way firefighters
fight forest fires by burning off sections, effectively canceling each
other out and I find myself at peace. I understand that you guys usually
listen to Pet Shop Boys or Frankie Goes to Hollywood so this may be
worth a try.
Regards, David.
From: Jeff Peters
Date: Friday 10 April 2009 1.04pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Membership Renewal Due
DO NOT EMAIL ME AGAIN
From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 10 April 2009 1.15pm
To: Jeff Peters
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Membership Renewal
Due
Ok.
From: Jeff Peters
Date: Friday 10 April 2009 1.25pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Membership
Renewal Due
Is that you being a smartarse or agreeing not to email me again?
From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 10 April 2009 1.32pm
To: Jeff Peters
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Membership
Renewal Due
The middle one.
I guess it's kinda worth the read.
From: Jeff Peters
Date: Wednesday 8 April 2009 10.22am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Membership Renewal
Dear David
This is a friendly reminder to let you know your gym membership expired
last week. Your membership is important to us and we would like to take
this opportunity to show our appreciation by offering you a 20% discount
on your membership renewal. We look forward to seeing you again soon.
All the best, Jeff Peters
From: David Thorne
Date: Wednesday 8 April 2009 1.37pm
To: Jeff Peters
Subject: Re: Membership Renewal
Dear Jeff,
Thankyou for your friendly reminder and the kind offer to reduce my
membership by twenty percent. I own a calculator but I could not work
out how to do percentages on it so have estimated that I save around
$372.10 off the normal price of $420.00 - Please confirm that this is
correct and I will renew my membership immediately. Also, do I get a
Fitness First sports bag with towel and drinking bottle included in the
price? I own my own legwarmers and headband.
Regards, David.
From: Jeff Peters
Date: Thursday 9 April 2009 10.01am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Membership Renewal Due
Hello David
How did you come to that amount? Our half year membership fees are
actually $460 but with the 20% discount as an existing member your
renewing membership fee would be only $368 for the six months saving you
almost $100 off the normal price. We are not Fitness First so do not
have those bags.
Cheers, Jeff
From: David Thorne
Date: Thursday 9 April 2009 10.18am
To: Jeff Peters
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Membership Renewal Due
Dear Jeff
Do I get free shipping with that?
Regards, David.
From: Jeff Peters
Date: Thursday 9 April 2009 12.48pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Membership Renewal Due
Free shipping with what? The $368 covers your membership fees for six
months.
From: David Thorne
Date: Thursday 9 April 2009 2.26pm
To: Jeff Peters
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Membership Renewal Due
Dear Jeff
By the power of Greyskull that is a lot of money but I admit to being in
desperate need of increasing my body strength. My ten year old child
often turns the taps off in the bathroom very tightly and I have to go
several days without washing. I feel bad constantly having to ask the
lady from next door to come over and loosen them for me, what with her
arthritis and limited wheelchair access to my apartment. To be honest, I
originally joined your gym with full intentions of attending every few
days but after waiting in vain for someone to offer me steroids, I began
to suspect this was not going to happen and the realisation that I may
have to exercise instead was, quite frankly, horrifying. My aversion to
work, along with the fact one of your employees, Justin, was rather
rude, telling me to 'lift this', 'push that' dulled my initial
enthusiasm of becoming muscular and I stopped attending.
Regards, David.
From: Jeff Peters
Date: Friday 10 April 2009 9.17am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Membership Renewal Due
Hello David
Not sure how to take your email, nobody here would offer you steroids,
it is illegal and none of our staff would do this. Justin is one of our
most experienced trainers and if you found him rude while he was trying
to be helpful and just doing his job then there are plenty of other gyms
you could look at joining instead.
Cheers, Jeff
From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 10 April 2009 10.02am
To: Jeff Peters
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Membership Renewal Due
Dear Jeff
Yes, I have noticed that there are many gyms in my area. I assume the
low qualification requirements of fitness trainers means that there is
an over supply of these buffed but essentially otherwise purposeless
professionals. I knew a guy in high school who couldn't talk very well
and collected sticks, he used to call the teacher 'mum' and during
recess we would give him money to dance. Then sell him sticks to get our
money back. He went on to become a fitness instructor so I view gyms as
kind of like those factories that provide a community service by
employing people with down syndrome to lick stamps and pack boxes.
Except with more Spandex obviously.
Regards, David.
From: Jeff Peters
Date: Friday 10 April 2009 10.32am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Membership Renewal Due
Go f *ck yourself.
From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 10 April 2009 11.38am
To: Jeff Peters
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Membership Renewal Due
Dear Jeff
I was, at first, quite surprised at your response; one minute you are
inviting me to renew my membership and asking me for money, the next
insulting me. After doing a little research however, I have learnt that
mood swings are an expected side effect of steroid abuse. As another
side effect is a reduction in the size of your p#$%, this gives you
understandable cause to be an angry person. I have also learnt that
Spandex contains carcinogenic properties so this does not bode well for
yourself and your shiny friends. If I woke up one morning and my p#$%
was a quarter of the size I would probably take my anger out on those
around me as well. There are probably support groups or websites that
could help you manage your problem more effectively and picture based
books available on the subject for people with limited reading skills.
When I am angry I like to Listen to music by Linkin Park. The added
angst and desire to cut myself works similarly to the way firefighters
fight forest fires by burning off sections, effectively canceling each
other out and I find myself at peace. I understand that you guys usually
listen to Pet Shop Boys or Frankie Goes to Hollywood so this may be
worth a try.
Regards, David.
From: Jeff Peters
Date: Friday 10 April 2009 1.04pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Membership Renewal Due
DO NOT EMAIL ME AGAIN
From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 10 April 2009 1.15pm
To: Jeff Peters
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Membership Renewal
Due
Ok.
From: Jeff Peters
Date: Friday 10 April 2009 1.25pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Membership
Renewal Due
Is that you being a smartarse or agreeing not to email me again?
From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 10 April 2009 1.32pm
To: Jeff Peters
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Membership
Renewal Due
The middle one.
Libertine.22 May 2009HAHAHAHA
A+
haha that was awsome
I laughed. Nobody else found it funny when they read it though. Haha
the middle one, lol.
jakeyknowsbest22 May 2009hahaha that was good
well worth it.
funny as
funny as
^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^
Have actually done that . . .
Have actually done that . . .
lol
pancake™23 May 2009the amount of abd shit on here lol
jack was that actually you, it looks like your hand writing
Vande23 May 2009hahah. that email thing was awesome.
LDF24 May 2009Lol RL goddom ot fronk.
GREENWOOD24 May 2009oh my god ha ha ha ha i know this guy his name is thomas gaskin ha ha ha he used to work with a girl i knew
French Fries27 May 2009why is this thread on page three???
Joel'27 May 2009Would help if they actually spelt the direct quotes properly.
French Fries27 May 2009thanks capt. killjoy
Joel'27 May 2009No problem.
Furtanken27 May 2009