Arsehole friends

bump..

All my friends are too busy to do shit with me, me being unemployed with free time 24/7.. sb com au is all I got these days.

I once tried to take on shit on this guys head after my friend lured him in to this new cubby house in the bush. After squatting from a tree branch nothing came out and the guy ran out of the cubby house laughing. This happened in like year 3 or 4. When we got to high school one of my mates retold the story to someone and the story spread like wildfire around the school. This other guy got called shitty from like year 7 to 12 by basically the whole school. Teachers would always pull me out of class and ask me about it and to try and make people stop calling them that but i had nothing to do with it. Pretty sure the guy got counselling from it....

I think these kind of stories are fairly common place, at least where I am from (Northern NSW). I can remember me or mostly my friends being the biggest cunts almost all the time...
We used to sit in this shady spot at school under a whole lot of trees, unfortunately for us and to the amusement of a rival group our trees were deciduous. For some reason it was still bloody hot but our group had no shade, our rival group was laughing at us every lunch time... My friends hatched a plan that they would come to school at night time and drill holes into the massive native tree they sat under and fill the holes with roundup, slowly killing the tree. Everyday after that our rival group laughed at us whilst we all laughed back, even though they didn't understand why for about a week. At which point all their leaves fell off and their tree was dying, they were all stupid footy heads so had no idea what was happening, unfortunately for my friends the school had worked it out though. They called all of us to the office and played hard ball... they said if we didn't own up that we couldn't get our HSC... I didn't give a fuck so I denied everything, my stupid friends owned up and had to spend the rest of their school life and some of their own money planting new trees around the school.

A couple kids where in the locker bay in year 12 and they knew this one kids combo to his locker and they showed me. After they left I stole all his text books planning to sell them at the end of the year. I didn't really like him so I thought fuck him haha. Anyway he told the teachers that his books where gone and the other dudes ratted on me saying I took them. The year level coordinator started playing hard ball saying she knew I took the books and that it was on camera, I wasn't stupid and denied everything and got off scot free. The other guy wasn't so lucky and got put in vcal because his dad wouldn't buy more books.

Lots of people playing hard ball out there

This kid in grade 5 or 6 took the scarecrow from the preps veggie garden, shat on it.. and left it at the office entry doorway for the teachers and kids to find in the morning. He smugged the rest of his crap on the door handle and door.
Not sure if he got caught.

Me and 2 mates in year 9 went egging..got this kids house who i knew so good with toilet paper..his dad came to my house and i think walked in my house wanting to kill us haha. Another time we were throwing apples at these kids across the street who we kinda hated but were cool with.. his fat as sister from grade 1 was trying to taunt us, i threw 1 over 6 lanes of traffic and got her in the middle of the forehead haha, she fell back off a 1m fence onto her back in slow-mo..

We egged a house who's family i knew, we bolted as soon as we threw them back to mine, got to the end of the alleyway and saw the bitch whos house it was on our left about 150 m away and bolted!
We ran up the street past their house and had to hide in the adjacent street to the house for about 15 min. Their dad and big cunt brother was searching for us with lights, until we bailed and jumped fences while getting chased.

A bad cunt i was friends with threw a rock at a kid from our school from about 10m away and split the guys lip, he ended up getting plastic surgery.
Same dude smacked a guy from his school in the face with his lock..pretty sure it was the same guy who got plastic surgery too.

Stay away from Croydon

The same kid who shat on the doorstep crapped his pants twice in one year too, same year i think..once a week for 2 weeks.

Pretty sure this ranga we were friends with put dog food on his balls and got his dog to lick it off. Same kid used to get called 'hayden ya red knob cunt' from his mum haha, she used to call me angel.
Same kid got dropped by a girl across the street from his place and cried home.

Got a ripper, sometimes i cant even believe that this happened. Mates will go un named.
Was at a party after the premmy for a friends video in geelong, was about 8:00am the next morning and a few of us were still kicking around drinking piss and dribbling shit.
A few homies popped their heads in and were on the way to this blokes birthday party at a paintball place and had a spare seat, i was wasted and had never been paint-balling so i jumped at the opportunity. we got to the paint ball place, all wasted and starting to get a little cheeky from some acid we took on the way and they put us in a group of about 30 to 40 people. im very shady on how the rules worked but we basically just shot anyone near us and people were getting a little shitty, one mate staunched one of the workers there with his gun. This is where it gets really loose...
we stopped for a ciggie and one mate went for a dump, he emerged from the bathroom grinning from ear to ear, stating that he had found, in his underpants, a valium that he had tried to put in his bum that must not have made it... Without a seconds thought he made a b line for a group of peoples bags, drinks and other shit. He unscrewed the lid on a nearly full gatorade, dropped in the poop vally and split back to our vantage point. We watched this quaint little asian bloke come out dripping with sweat, and he go's straight for the gatorade! He necked half of it in seconds then passed it to his girlfriend who finished it. neither of them even blinked. needless to say we all felt very bad. soz.

Why be friends with an arsehole?

Says the person with c**t for a name...

moar!